Expecting Multiples: The Myths
I have to admit that I wasn’t exactly “happy” when I learned that we were expecting twins. I was shocked, scared, and confused (Twins don’t run in my family). After getting over the initial reaction, expecting twins is a little more serious that expecting a singleton. It is a blessing and much, much more efficient than having only one at a time.
When people, most often it’s women, learn that we’re having twins, their first response is usually, “Gosh, I’ve always wanted twins.” That makes me feel a little guilty because I’ve never always wanted twins. I’ve always wanted to have children. There was a time that I didn’t want *any* children. Then there was a time that I thought I’d never have children. When I did want children, I never wanted twins. It didn’t occur to me that I’d ever have twins, being that they don’t run in my family.
I’ve always associated twins as a mother-to-daughter trait or an outcome of fertility treatments. And I learned recently that there are twins in my family, but they come from my dad’s side. My paternal grandfather was himself a twin born in 1899 – or 1898, I’m not sure. But in my grandfather’s case, like in Elvis Presley’s, one twin survived while the other didn’t (Elvis’ twin was named Jesse).
I don’t entirely believe that having twins is a genetic trait. Surely, it must have something to do with maternal nutrition. Most other mammals have larger litters if overfed. We’ve been having stair-step children, so perhaps my body thinks that there’s a human population shortage. Or maybe the gods find it amusing that we’ll have five children ages five and under. Ha ha ha. That’s funny.
Then there are comments such as, “Twins always come early,” “You can’t breast feed two babies!” and “Doctors like to schedule a C-section just in case.” I don’t know about you, but my babies are going to be born only a few days before their actual due date after four hours of labor. They’ll be weighing over seven pounds each, and they’ll learn to nurse together, dirty their diapers together, and sleep together because that’s just the way things are going to be in this house. Period.
All I know is, I get really uncomfortable being told that someone else has “always wanted twins.” That’s like being asked, “Are you expecting?” when you’ve had a baby just three months before. Or carrying a bag of groceries in one hand and holding the hand of a toddler who is holding the hand of a young preschooler who is holding the hand of an older preschooler and being told, “Looks like you’ve got your hands full.” Well, it might only look like that, but if I let go of the toddler, her brothers still have a hold of her.
And my favorite: “Better you than me!”
You. Are. Right.
